Four and a half years ago, my family’s happiness and stability were blown apart when my beautiful daughter, Liora was taken ill out of the blue and tragically lost her life to an aneurysm and pneumonia at the tender age of twenty.
The effect of losing my vibrant, talented, inspiring, selfless daughter was devastating, to say the least. How could it possibly be that her giving, generous, loving spirit was gone forever from our lives, ripping through our happiness like a relentless steam roller.
Needless to say, many months of mourning followed; the deepest, most raw, agonizing pain any of us have ever known, slicing through our hearts, minds and spirits with the cruelest, sharpest and crippling grief imaginable.
But as the seasons changed, and as the mother of daughters who needed their mother’s love, I forced myself out of my descent into darkness to help them gradually come to terms and learn to heal.
Because children experience grief just as deeply as adults, if not even more. Whatever their age, be they toddlers, teens, in their twenties or fifties, the loss of a sibling can cause profound, lifelong effects that impact on their mental health and ability to live without grief.
As a therapist whose work embraces anxiety and grief as well as helping sufferers of fear and phobias, I knew I needed to use my tools of the trade to develop my own resilience and strengthen my mindset. Using EFT Tapping Therapy (Emotional Freedom Techniques) as well as color therapy, reiki, and other psychology-based energy healing strategies, I worked on myself.
For many years I had worked on my clients to help them release their trapped emotions to enable them to move forward. I told myself “Therapist, it’s time to heal thyself”. So, I gradually set to work on my own swirl of emotions, my mourning and my mindset and planned how to release my family from their nightmare existence of bereavement,
pain and loss.
I grew stronger. And focused on healing the mental health and wellbeing of my beautiful, broken daughters, Liora’s living sisters, who at the time were aged 8,13,17 and18.
To mark #ChildrensGriefAwarenessWeek, I want to reach out to all families whose children might be struggling with loss and grief and offer a few simple tips to guide them on the journey to acceptance, healing and learning to live with loss.
take some deep breath
imagine an invisible string attached to the person you lost so you are still in touch and connected in a certain way.
- Acknowledge your pain…
- Understand that grieving is an entirely natural process and your grieving process will be unique to you.
- Seek out support from people who care about you.
- Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically
Nobody should ever need to endure the pain of such all-consuming grief alone and I have shared the final days of Liora’s life and the holistic tools that helped us find our way through the maze of darkness and emerge into the light, in my book, How To Move Forward When The Unthinkable Happens.
If you’re immersed in grief, if your children have lost their way, or you don’t know how to cope, please take a look at my book, try the tips above or contact me for help and let the light in.